{"id":193,"date":"2016-09-02T07:43:33","date_gmt":"2016-09-02T11:43:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/perilouscodpiece.org\/blaeg\/?p=193"},"modified":"2016-09-02T07:43:33","modified_gmt":"2016-09-02T11:43:33","slug":"a-brilliant-tweetstorm-on-hiringonboarding","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/perilouscodpiece.org\/blaeg\/2016\/09\/02\/a-brilliant-tweetstorm-on-hiringonboarding\/","title":{"rendered":"a brilliant tweetstorm on hiring\/onboarding"},"content":{"rendered":"

@patio11<\/a> is worth following on twitter, but in particular recently he posted this tweetstorm talking about the hiring and onboarding process that really struck me as being worth a read:<\/p>\n

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If there is a talent shortage, it is of people who know how to run a hiring process like it is a business.<\/p>\n

— Patrick McKenzie (@patio11) August 31, 2016<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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I know you like *your* company's hiring process, but your peers'… if your sales team executed like that, you'd fire them in two weeks.<\/p>\n

— Patrick McKenzie (@patio11) August 31, 2016<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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"How many leads did you talk to today?" "I dunno." "Guess for me." "Three? Could have been four."<\/p>\n

— Patrick McKenzie (@patio11) August 31, 2016<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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"What's the status of this lead?" "Oh I DQed them." "Why?" "Culture fit." "What does that mean?" "Fit. For our culture."<\/p>\n

— Patrick McKenzie (@patio11) August 31, 2016<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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"When's the last time you talked to Bob?" "Yesterday." "Show me the email." *shows email from 3 weeks ago promising a callback*<\/p>\n

— Patrick McKenzie (@patio11) August 31, 2016<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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"Where's sell sheet vs Google?" "Our what?" "When they're considering us and Google, what tested message do we repeat?" "I wing it, dawg."<\/p>\n

— Patrick McKenzie (@patio11) August 31, 2016<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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"Suppose an engineer intros you to a warm prospect. What's next action?" "Thank them." "And then?" "I'm thinking call w\/ no script or CTA."<\/p>\n

— Patrick McKenzie (@patio11) August 31, 2016<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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"What's our conversion rate?" "What's that word mean?" "How many leads did we get this quarter?" "Ooh, quarter means three months."<\/p>\n

— Patrick McKenzie (@patio11) August 31, 2016<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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"Describe to me how we developed our sales process." "We copied a ten year old blog post repeating Google's third-hand." "Why?" "Google's!"<\/p>\n

— Patrick McKenzie (@patio11) August 31, 2016<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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"Tell me how we do lead nurturing here." "What's that?" "Even if they're not ready to take a job we send them something, right?" "Lol why."<\/p>\n

— Patrick McKenzie (@patio11) August 31, 2016<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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"You still working Amy?" "Yep." "Who can know that she trusts who we can ask to talk us up to Amy?" "That's both useless and impossible."<\/p>\n

— Patrick McKenzie (@patio11) August 31, 2016<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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"How's our pricing compare to competitors?" "Better than market." "I know we tell people that but is. It. True." "Why does it matter?"<\/p>\n

— Patrick McKenzie (@patio11) August 31, 2016<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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"So how did that sales call go?" "I asked an engineer to take it." "… You have a plan." "He flaked. Prospect was alone for an hour." \/2<\/p>\n

— Patrick McKenzie (@patio11) August 31, 2016<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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"JESUS CHRIST." "What?" "How do we salvage that prospect?" "He got pissy. Poor culture fit. DQed." "How do we never do this again?" "Why?"<\/p>\n

— Patrick McKenzie (@patio11) August 31, 2016<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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"How'd last call go?" "Crap lead man." "OK, so how would you rate your performance on selling?" "Oh I only do that when excited about lead."<\/p>\n

— Patrick McKenzie (@patio11) August 31, 2016<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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"What's customers purchasing process look like?" "Is that a trick? They use our sales process." "… OK. What's that look like?" "Wing it!"<\/p>\n

— Patrick McKenzie (@patio11) August 31, 2016<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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"Who's the leads economic buyer?" "The lead. Duh." "They make all decisions." "Of course." "They ever ask anyone for input?" "Prob no. Why?"<\/p>\n

— Patrick McKenzie (@patio11) August 31, 2016<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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"What were the deals you were happiest about last year at time of close?" "X, Y, Z." "Which is best one year later?" "What do you mean?"<\/p>\n

— Patrick McKenzie (@patio11) August 31, 2016<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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"Explain to me how you qualify." "I've got hard DQs and soft DQs." "Name a hard DQ." "None exist." "A soft DQ." "Lead's school is subpar."<\/p>\n

— Patrick McKenzie (@patio11) August 31, 2016<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n